Friday, December 21, 2007

Not a One-Time Use Item

You use me when you need me
Then you throw me to the side
Like an obsolete used up tissue
I served my purpose
And now that you used me
I am disposable like a used condom
Well let me tell you something
I deserve to be treated better
Treated like I matter
So I am leaving and I won’t be coming back
I am done waiting hoping your realize
The treasure you are holding in your hands
So I break away in search of the lover who will hold me close
And treat me like a diamond, a priceless treasure
Because that is what I really am

Monday, December 17, 2007

The Shadows Prison

Standing in the shadow of my true potential
Looking up and seeing
What I really could be
No matter where I move
I always have that constant reminder
That I’m not who I could be
This shadow is like a prison
With no walls and no bars
The pressure of your expectations
Are crushing me
Driving me deeper and deeper into the ground

Saturday, December 15, 2007

Black Hole of My Soul

My soul is a black hole of death
No light is ever seen
All life is sucked in and never seen again
So why don't you back away
So you don’t get sucked in
Just leave me alone
So I can save your soul

Bloom of Your Love

You send Your glory down like rain
You let Your love fall like snow
And like Your earth I suck it all in
Like Your plants I take Your glory and love
I use it to grow and I flourish and I bloom
And I spread your love like the beauty of the flowers

Friday, December 14, 2007

Once Broken Heart

You grab your dagger and I’ll grab my heart
And when we collide
We can sit together
And witness this heart’s last beat
And when the beat h has expired
You can weep this loss you just gained
I drift into the dark empty abyss of my eternal loneliness
As I spend eternity alone I start to realize that
This choice that I made was the worst one yet
Then I feel this pull that grabs the pieces of my broken heart
And molds them back into this heart of happiness and joy
And my first breath of air
Brings the life back into my once broken body
This second chance I was granted
Will be used for Your glory
As you are the one that mended my once broken heart

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Tight Places

You can’t ever know
You won’t understand how I feel
When I act like this you think I am being selfish
So I just want to tell you
I am not trying to be selfish
I just have bad memories of tight places
And every time I am in one
I remember that that memory
And I start to panic

Saturday, December 8, 2007

Flying Without a Care

Cast your cares to the side
Bring your struggles to God
He will lift you up
And take your cares away
Once you let God take them away
You feel lighter that air
Like you can fly

My Bleak Existence

This stone cold heart beating in my chest
No emotions no sensations
Dull bleak survival living just to exist
My feeling are gone the sensations with them
I feel nothing I taste little
Never really happy
Always looking for that one thing that makes me feel alive
All I ask is for a glimpse of true happiness
Maybe then I can find a reason to live

Cries in Disguise

These tears that fall from my eyes
Are cries for help in disguise
They roll down these cheeks
And I count the weeks
The weeks that go by without help
Help which is desperately needed

Thursday, December 6, 2007

Windows to My Soul

The eyes are windows to the soul
So it is said
But what happens when someone
Is hiding their true self
Will the eyes betray the body
And portray the soul.

Saturday, December 1, 2007

Leashed by Narrow Mindedness

This leash you keep around my neck is way too tight
I am not the clean cut person you would like
Trying new things is something I must do
Finding myself is all I need
You don't understand the pain of not knowing who you are
Always struggling to find who I am inside
You seem so narrow minded
In this age you need to broaden your spectrum
More things are expectable now then when you were a kid
You say if I rebel, I will get kicked out of the house
I take that as a big threat as if you don't love me
Even though I know you do
But why do you use threats

Monday, November 26, 2007

Tribute to the Persecuted Gays

For what manner of fate hath brought us together
For which thine perfect love will last forever
Only for you does my heart truly yern
We both know that thine heart only wisheth to be with mine
For we must not deny what our two hearts really desire.
Why must our love be strictly forbidden?
For two such as us have the same feelings of love
As you and your true love
Just because we be two men
Does not mean we cannot experience the truest of love

Withering Heart Trailing Sorrows

When u walk away from me
My heart dies a little more inside
This withering heart cant take much more pain
To much more and it will break
Pain and sorrow seem to follow me
Suffering and Grief don't trail to far behind

Friday, November 23, 2007


My empty soul inside this body yearning for more
Always coming so close only to cut myself right back down
Trusting is so hard always afraid I will be hurt again
The chains of the devil clamped around my neck
Holding me back pulling me back into the pit of death
Nothing can break these chains not the hottest fire or the strongest axe
Only the power of my savior can break the links

Repercussions of My Sadness

Screaming to show my pain
The pain inside driving me over the edge
These tears I cry drain my pain
A million tears falling
This pool a repercussion of my sadness
These fits of tears cutting out chunks of my life
Drowning in tears of sorrow
Will this salty pool be my death bed?

My Version of Heaven

When I die your love will Take me to a place of eternal peace A place were fighting and yelling don't exist A place where people don't ridicule each other To a place where demons and evil spirits are banned And the love of God is radiated like the heat or the sun Eternal joy were there are no whispers from the devil or his demons Telling you you’re never going to match up to the worlds standards A place where there are no death threats whispered into your ears

Monday, November 19, 2007


Demons like dark black evil vultures
Always circling their prey
Waiting for it to mess up
So they can dive down
And grab a hold of
The fallen victim and control their lives
Making them do things they would never do
Unthinkable things
Attacking their prey with
Their razor sharp claws
Slashing and tearing at the very soul of someone
Discouraging and hurting their feeling
Whispering in your ear words of lies and deceit
Trying to make us doubt, to make us trip and stumble
So they can swoop in and lie to us
Giving us a false hope and a sense of security
All the while they are ruining out lives and destroying our faith.

Wednesday, November 14, 2007


Angels with wings
Wings like shinning silver
Wrapping around us
Protecting us without us even knowing
Wings like giant silky blankets
Thrusting them into the air
Letting them hover above us
Protecting us like a mother protects her young
Their eyes like sparkling white pearls
Watching everything, missing nothing

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Deathly Burglar

Death is Sudden
And usually very unfair
Death is like a burglar
Stealing life right out
From under your nose
Death is quiet but very subtle
You may never see it coming
And you may never see it
While it is there
But when it is gone
You will definitely
Know it was there.

Turning Away

Now you turn your back
On Him but He will

Never leave your side
Why aren’t you listening to someone
Who is trying to save your life
And will always care
When you are ready to give up
Just turn toward God
And He will set you free
He will take away
These thoughts of suicide
And lift you up and put you
Back on your feet

Monday, November 12, 2007


What is real
What is true
What will come next
Listen hard

And you might hear
That sound
The sound of feet
Feet stomping
Feet running
Toward one thing

Some don't even know
Why they are running
They are just running toward the pull
The pull that drives there life
But most know that pull
Is the pull of the Most High
The Creator
His love drives us toward Him

Thursday, November 8, 2007

Ways to End It

Throwing up
Drugged almost to death
Is this really how I want to go?

Passing out
Rope around my neck
Strangling me
I need air

Water in my lungs
Struggling to breath
Needing air
When there is none there

Are these really ways to go
Do I really want to be known?
For my abrupt exit

I know my live has something in store
And I must like to find out what
Because I have people who care about me
And they would be broken to pieces
If I killed myself

Why Am I Here

Why am I here

Why won’t you let me disappear?

This feeling inside

I’m afraid will never subside

It’s taking over

Why do I want my life to be over?

I am so confused

And I feel so abused

Then I turn and look

To the one who made me?

And he takes away my pain

He sets me free

And now I will always be

His forever

Tuesday, November 6, 2007

Who Am I

The sun is shining
But i don't feel its heat
My true feeling are always hiding
I need to find them
So I can cope
Do I want to know
What I really feel
I am really scared
But I know I must face them
So I can help myself
And find out what is really bothering me
If I know
I am that much closer to finally having peace

Monday, November 5, 2007

The Block

Blocking my thoughts
Hiding my feelings
Denying my self
What I'm really feeling

I don't know why i do it
I don't even like it
It's really unfair
Just makes me want to pull out my hair

Block it all out so
I don't hear it
Knock me out so i don't feel it at all

Now I'm awake
What happened
What did u say
Would i like it
Racking my brain
I don't remember
Stop asking me questions
Cause I don't remember at all